Forget What's In The Past

Hello again! This past few months have been a huge learning experience for me! My perception of how I am has drastically changed. I've grown up being taught that God loves me and has a plan for my life. It seems like this past year God has tested my faith. Last March, once winter term was done, I decided to move back home temporarily. When I moved to Salem in September I thought I had all the answers. But deep down inside, I knew I was lying to myself. As time went by I became confused as to what I was supposed to do with my life. My decision to go to WOU and Salem was done on all my own. I didn't really rely on God to direct me as I should have. The way I see it is this: I moved to Salem, thinking I knew what I was doing and that I was in control.. well.. I had convinced myself that it was what "God wanted me to do." I think He had a better plan for me. I just didn't want to listen. I do not regret moving there because I see it as a lesson God wanted to teach me. Since my "wake up call," I plan on taking my life one step at a time and definitely praying about everything. I don't want to go down the wrong path. I want what God has planned for me.

Trusting in God is so hard to do. Especially when you're used to doing it on you own. In the last couple of months I have felt God gently nudging me back to where I need to be. I can't see where He's going to take me. And I know my journey is going to be an interesting one. In a sense I see myself growing up a little bit more. Hopefully I'm maturing in my relationship with God too. I don't want to get distracted like I did - which is very easy to do with me. Now all I want to just keep trudging down this road that I'm on and try getting closer to God. I know if I do this and keep my eyes on Him, I will persevere through more college years and all the financial obligations it comes with.

Thankfully, I find solace in Philippians 3:12-16

"¹²I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. ¹³My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead. ¹⁴I run toward the goal, so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize that God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done. ¹⁵All of us who are mature should think in this same way. And if any of you think differently, God will make it clear to you. ¹⁶But we must keep going in the direction that we are now headed."